September 2009
1 post
Re: An invitation to karaoke (with a mention of...
Garrick: I will be there because I wish to sow my Oates!
Grammar Rodeo: Um, sowing your Oates sounds a little gross, but I'm glad you'll be there!
Garrick: Yes, you're right. Well, I would deck John Hall but I'm not a fighter. I'm a lover.
June 2009
8 posts
Grammar Rodeo's rules for online dating
Rule Number Three:
Before posting a photo of yourself wearing a beret, think twice. I’m not saying you should never use such an image, but take a moment to consider what message you may be conveying by doing so. If, after a moment of introspection, you proudly declare yourself an unapologetic beret enthusiast, more power to you; I hope you and your headwear find love.
“Which returns us to the paradox of boxing: its obsessive appeal for many who...”
– Joyce Carol Oates, On Boxing
At a conference thinking about what words of wisdom Sara Stroud of 2009 would impart to my younger self, the first thing that comes to mind is, “Someday that Winnie the Pooh tattoo is going to make you feel like a real dumbass.”
Grammar Rodeo's rules for online dating
Rule Number Two:
When, while creating a profile, you’re asked what items one might find in your bedroom, “ferrets and ferret accessories” is an unacceptable response—unless you’re looking for that special someone on FerretLovers. com, but then that would just be too obvious.
Grammar Rodeo's rules for online dating
Rule Number One:
Never, ever make your online dating handle a reference to an Ayn Rand novel. This suggests that you are most likely:
a) totally self-absorbed
b) baselessly arrogant
c) a redhead
May 2009
23 posts
Nothing says going your own way like randomly donning a top hat.
J. Mcvie’s face constantly averted/obscured. Conspiracy theories abound.
Tusk! They don’t need no marching band.
Sara says Sara is hands down the best Sara song out there. Sorry Hall and Oates.
L. Buck doesn’t use a guitar pick. He’s got a talon!
Mick Fleetwood = demonically jolly
Lindsey Buckingham = art garfunkel in black leather. Still kinda hot though
When being photographed, don’t try to explain that you can’t smile because you have peanuts in your mouth.
Waiting for the mac. Percentage of women in stevie duds: about 50
Does no C. Mcvie mean no making loving fun?
Bruce Springsteen and the E Stweet Band
I’ve de-tweeted my tumblr for now, as I think it’s cheating to make it look like I’m actually keeping up with this blog when, in fact, I’m only twittering.
Also, I think excessive social networking is slowly eroding my soul and the added circularity component made it feel even more inescapable.
That said, I was of thinking of condensing song lyrics to 140 characters,...
Someone is blasting “Cotton Fields” by CCR. Did @garrickld move next door?
I wish the style guide writers of the world would get together on the serial comma question. You’re tearing me apart!
Now that my twitter goes to my tumblr, I feel all this pressure to tweet interestingly. And am I tweeting or tumbling? So confused!
Having already pledged to kqed, I think I should be exempt from having to listen to more pledge drive.
A Yoga Question
capnlou:
Dear Cap’n Lou,
I enjoy going to yoga class, but I really dislike the part where the whole class is supposed to chant in unison. Not only can I never get the words right, but the whole thing just feels disingenuous to me. But then it’s also uncomfortable to a) chant the wrong words or b) remain sullenly silent. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Om my god this is embarrassing...
Sandwiches that you will like →
Making my escape from HerpWorld Expo with a bottle of Monster Hitman Energy Shooter in my bag for @stuckonlou.
Among the lizard people
Today, in the name of being an enthusiastic and supportive girlfriend, I went to the Herp World Expo at the Cow Palace, an event that bills itself as California’s No. 1 Premier Exotic Reptile Experience. Finding the animals for sale in little plastic tubs depressing, I spent most of my time watching the throngs passing by Jack’s booth (He doesn’t sell animals, by the way.), and...
