About
A blog about grammar, rodeos and grammar rodeos. And sometimes maybe sandwiches and boxing. And me.Following
In the lifelong struggle to keep one’s dignity while maintaining one’s personal hygiene, Comfort Wipe may help win the battle, but it won’t win the war.
Rule Number Three:
Before posting a photo of yourself wearing a beret, think twice. I’m not saying you should never use such an image, but take a moment to consider what message you may be conveying by doing so. If, after a moment of introspection, you proudly declare yourself an unapologetic beret enthusiast, more power to you; I hope you and your headwear find love.
At a conference thinking about what words of wisdom Sara Stroud of 2009 would impart to my younger self, the first thing that comes to mind is, “Someday that Winnie the Pooh tattoo is going to make you feel like a real dumbass.”
Rule Number Two:
When, while creating a profile, you’re asked what items one might find in your bedroom, “ferrets and ferret accessories” is an unacceptable response—unless you’re looking for that special someone on FerretLovers. com, but then that would just be too obvious.
Cage. Kilmer. Herzog. Together at last.
This has the potential to be the next Wicker Man.
Rule Number One:
Never, ever make your online dating handle a reference to an Ayn Rand novel. This suggests that you are most likely:
a) totally self-absorbed
b) baselessly arrogant
c) a redhead
“Meet the latest member of the Ghostbusters team. This sexy Adult Ghostbuster is prepared to battle the supernatural forces. This tan hot-pants-jumpsuit is accented with black striping and belt to create the perfect ensemble. Let everyone know who to call with the matching tan Ghostbuster logo baseball cap. A backpack is also included. Become the sexiest paranormal expert at the party by adding a pair of our shiny black costume boots.”
While I guess I should be relieved about the “adult” qualifier in the phrase “sexy Ghostbuster,” I still have all kinds of problems with this costume. It’s totally impractical for busting ghosts, from the short shorts ill-suited for pole sliding, to the bell sleeves that could easily get tangled in one’s neutrona wand. Also, for $49.99, I’m guessing it’s made of a cheap synthetic material that will burst into flame from a single stray spark from a proton pack.
That said, I do like the idea of being the “sexiest paranormal expert at the party.”
Um, I should also say I stumbled across this via an ad for Ghostbuster t-shirts (Google knows me so well), not by searching “sexy Ghostbuster” or any permutation thereof.
J. Mcvie’s face constantly averted/obscured. Conspiracy theories abound.
